Come on, come on…” the agent mutters impatiently, motioning for me to move forward. I’m the only passenger being screened so I can walk straight up to him through a section clearly demarcated ‘EMPLOYEES ONLY’, but knowing how strict airport security can be, I decide instead to walk pedantically through a rope maze.

“What are you doing sir??” he asks with a tone reserved for imbeciles and children. “Just come up.”

After finding out that my accompanying family is only there to send me off and not actually traveling, he informs us that no one is allowed past security without boarding passes. I spend a few precious minutes with my wife and kids, and head back to the checkpoint.

By this time there’s another TSA agent at the entry point and still no other travelers. As I make a direct approach he chides, “SIR!!? Can you read??” while pointing to the aforementioned ‘EMPLOYEES ONLY’ sign. I do a mental facepalm.

After performing the security rituals, I meet up with Bernie and we board the small turboprop plane to Newark.